Alt.sysadmin.recovery is for discussion by recovered and recovering sysadmins.
It is a forum for mutual support and griping over idiot lusers, stupid
tech support, brain dead hardware and generally how stupid this idiotic job
is. Think of it as a virtual pub, where we can all go after hours and
gripe about our job. Since the concept of "after hours" (or, for that
matter, "pubs") is an anathema for your average sysadmin, we have this
Some have warned that reading ASR while drinking beverages is to be avoided.
[due to the effects of beverage on keyboards on computers]
ASR, is by its nature a fairly free-wheeling group. Nevertheless, it is
also a very busy one. We would like to ask, therefore, that you respect
this. Please try and keep subject lines relatively up to date, so people
can kill threads. Please avoid 1 line "me toos", yes, we know you are
smart, young, old, had trouble in school, enjoyed school, never went to
college, user vi, use emacs, hate vi or emacs, read Robert Heinlein, have
a cool home page and practice martial arts. Please don't tell us about it.
Also, please keep threads out of here that might explode--hot topics like
gun control. (Anyone else do that, I WILL personally ensure that David
Rhodes, Robert McElwaine, Canter and Siegel and Serdar Argic _all_ get
accounts on your system. I'm serious.)
Oh, the "When I was a kid I had to bang two rocks together to get zeros" has
got especially old. Give it a rest.
Please don't resend things to alt.humor.best-of-usenet. We have nothing
against this group itself, but in the past we have averaged a few messages
a day there. This has drawn the lusers here like moths to a candle.
Not welcome on alt.sysadmin.recovery are: holy wars, advocacy, user
questions, users (unless you are a sysadmin in another life), David
Rhodes or general cluelessness.
Particularly not welcome is ANY real sysadmin related stuff. We
are here to escape!
Warning: If you are a user, you may well see your sysadmin posting messages
about how stupid YOU are. You have been warned.
On the BOFH pages
- Bastard Operator From Hell. Our role model.
(The Bastard Operator from Hell was originally a series of stories
written by Simon Travaglia,
- Luser Attitude Re-adjustment Tool. Something large, heavy and
painful. See the
sysadmin tool section.
- A Cow-Orker who rograms cops.
- Those people who live at the same office as you do.
(Warning: Orking Cows is dangerous, and illegal in the
state of Utah)
- C|N> K
- This, along with variants, is similar to ROFL in other
less cultured groups. (hint: C is coffee, N is nose, K is keyboard.)
A UK mirror may be found
A US mirror may be found here
ASR is such a cool newsgroup, we even have our own hierarchy! Try that,
This is the bofh.* hierachy.
For more information, see http://starbase.neosoft.com/~peter/bofh.html.
The official ASR motto, our catch phrase, is the immortal:
It is our mantra. We recite it to ourselves as we deal with the day
to day realities of a life that is far more nasty, brutish and short
then even Hobbes could ever imagine.
- "Down, not Across"
Some other mottos include:
- "What was your username?" *clickety click*
- "I need a drink."
The official asr position:
- Hiding in a corner, under a desk, in fetal position, arms covering head
and quietly whimpering.
The official asr luser position:
Every now again, some luser will come in and ask for an explanation of
ASR anagrams. I haven't the faintest idea why. Heres some good ones:
- 6 foot under.
alt sysadmin recovery
rancid mystery loaves
steady micron slavery
comedy striven salary
trendy mosaic slavery
convert already missy
scary devil monastery
By popular acclaim, Eris has been declared patron goddess of
ASR, with Murphy as patron saint.
The Illuminatus! Trilogy (Robert Anton Wilson and Robert Shea) will tell
you more of
Of course, don't let this put you off. ASR is a very tolerant group, and
we will accept anything you worship, provided your beliefs fit the requirements
for a good sysadmin god,
the most important one being that sacrifice of lusers be
an integral part of worship.
(The Aztec gods are very nice in this respect).
ASR has many talented budding creative artists who have come up with a
collection of deep, heart wrenching statements on the nihilism of this
sysadmin existence. Including such gems as the cynical "I'm a sysadmin
and I'm OK", the reflective "My favorite things", The Best of ASR will
be coming out soon on Sony, 12.99 CD, 7.99 Cassette.
Until this happens, you can find these songs
The ASR man page collection is a comprehensive reference to many of the
things we have to deal with in our profession.
View them here.
There have been a few organizations formed around ASR, notably the bofh.org.*
If you would like to have an address in this, you can find the
requirements at http://ugrad-www.cs.colorado.edu/~crosby/asr/bofh.uk
In short, you should send mail and a rant to email@example.com
The Michigan chapter. Send mail to firstname.lastname@example.org with a proof of
michiganess and a nice rant.
These are Keirsey scores. See http://sunsite.unc.edu/personality/keirsey.html
to find out yours.
Probably you want the guys who run this group. Address mail to:
Usenet Central Administration
1060 W. Addison
Chicago, IL 60636
They should be willing to help you out.
Yes, the awards are just in. Luser of the year this year goes to Judith
Kraines, county controller in Reading, PA. From News of the Weird:
* Reading, Pa., county controller Judith Kraines complained at a
commissioners' meeting in January about having to type letters
and do other business on a typewriter because her computer was
old and no one had been able to get it to work for two years. "If
we had a computer," she said, "letters would go out faster."
Three days later, she announced that the computer she was
complaining about in fact had not been plugged in to any
electrical outlet and that when the plug was inserted and the
computer was turned on, it worked fine.